Hip Tastes Blog

Of Stolen Cars & Trannie Cats
filed under: Ramblings

My mom always told me that really big projects, like, oh, writing a book, tend to be the most stressful near the end, just before you're finished. You'd think it'd be the opposite - more scary in the beginning - but instead, people tend to tense up the most as they round the final bend and glimpse the finish line up ahead. Such is the case for me, but in my instance I'd attribute the jitters over my project not so much to a spontaneous neurosis related to finishing my book but to a bizarre and frustrating cluster of incidents that've occurred over the last week.

mistertash.jpg.jpg They've left me shell shocked and bereft of writing time, not to mention a lot poorer and, now, utterly without transportation. I am, you might say, in an extremely compromised position.

First, the cat explanation. I came home from a family outing last weekend to find my 10-year-old obese Russian Blue convulsing on the floor of my apartment. I had been looking forward to finally getting some writing done upon returning home, but Natasha Petunia appeared to be in a very, very bad way, so off we went to the emergency vet instead. There, Tasha was diagnosed as having nothing more serious than a bladder infection, which it turns out is one the most expensive non-serious illnesses cats can have. Meaning, the subsequent treatment Tasha underwent involving catheters and constant monitoring ratcheted up a bill of nearly the same magnitude as my monthly rent (which ain't cheap - this is San Francisco, after all).

Besides this tidbit I was in for another shocker: Tasha, it turns out, is really a boy. Immediately after diagnosing the infection the vet started poking around Tasha's "area" and gave a little yelp. "I found a penis down here!" is what came out next. She went on to explain that female cats rarely come down with bladder infections; instead, they usually show up in "big bruisers" like my boy. Several minutes later, having sufficiently recovered from the news, I deadpanned, "well, this IS San Francisco, after all."

To which she laughed uproariously, as has every other person I've told about the gender mix-up ever since (especially my gay friends, who LUV it). I've finally, after some time getting used to it, switched over to using the male pronoun to address him, but I've not been able to jettison his hopelessly feminine name. Henceforth, I've decided, my cat's name will be "Mr. Natasha Petunia." Anyone who's got other suggestions on how to help him make a smooth transition to male-dom, I welcome your input.

Now, the car. After traveling to my home town in Central California to host a wine tasting yesterday evening, I woke up this morning to find my 1998 Honda Civic (coupe, red, in case anyone sees it) missing from the driveway in front of my folks' place. Apparently the heavy rains last night spurred a rash of car thefts, since thieves love the noise and visibility cover the rain provides. Lucky me!

Having already traveled four hours by car at an incredibly inopportune time given the impending deadline for the Hip Tastes book, I'm now not even able to get home to San Francisco. I am literally stuck, awaiting Monday morning when my rental car coverage kicks in. Sure, I could go ahead and rent in the mean time just to get home, but I feel a little as though this is a sign that I should just stay put and wrap the book.

As well, who knows what other sorts of surprises await me out in the real world! I'm not sure if the anxiety-addled almost-to-the-finish-line writer in me can handle anything else right now.

So, I'm now signing off, having rounded the last bend, to hunker down for the final stretch. Let's just hope my laptop doesn't spontaneously combust before I get there.

Posted by Courtney on February 23, 2007 05:54 PM

Comments

Keep your chin up, there are worse things than a Trannie Cat and a stolen car....break a leg on those last chapters!

XXOO Claire

Posted by: Claire on February 26, 2007 10:09 AM
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Did the SFPD find yours yet? Someone stole mine last week.

Posted by: Hot Honda in San Francisco on March 23, 2007 12:18 PM
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No! It was found in Fresno, of all places. It was stolen not far from there, where I grew up. Fortunately, I'm in some new wheels now, so all's well that ends well. Good luck with yours. ;)

Posted by: Courtney on March 26, 2007 07:20 PM
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