Hip Tastes Blog

You Go Paris, Just Don't Drive
filed under: Hip Tasters, Ramblings

The Wine Spectator reports that Italian road safety authorities are enraged that hotel heiress and debauchery-prone party girl Paris Hilton is promoting a new Italian bubbly called Rich Prosecco just after she was nabbed for DUI in Hollywood. USA Today counters that the latest in Paris' slip-ups just functions to boost her popularity, and probably won't hurt sales of the bubbly either (may even give 'em a little boost, much as her now famous video did for her own image not long ago). So, which is it - good or bad? Let's weigh in, shall we?

Let's start by thoroughly examining the facts:

USA Today says: "For most celebrities, getting smacked with a DUI is an instant image crisis. For Paris Hilton, it could be a career boost."

Her Publicist says: "The people who enjoy Paris as a comedian or actress on TV or as a singer on her CD, a woman who seems to have captured the imagination of so many people, I don't know if this is going to have any impact on them one way or another," he said. Then added, almost out of professional obligation: "But, of course, she regrets what took place."

Hmm, not so sure. Especially since it gave her the opportunity to chat it up first thing the next morning on Ryan Seacrest's morning show. Her take on the whole thing? It was "nothing." She was just hungry, reportedly, and apparently really needed to grab "an In-N-Out burger" (she used to pitch Carl's Junior, but whatever).

Why was she so hungry that she ventured out for grub while intoxicated? It's simple. Paris says it's because "I had not ate all day." Damnit! I hate it when that happens. Sometimes it makes me forget about common verb functions and grammer use too. I understand, Paris.

Grammer gripes aside, Italian road safety officials were more to the point. They just said: "**()&#$!@#!" Which means, roughly translated, that they were not impressed.

So, do we care? The HIP TASTES Jury Says: not really. Paris is Paris, she's always going to butcher her vocab and get into scrapes that function, ironically (is it even ironic anymore since it's always ironic???), to make her ever more famous. She probably could have spearheaded a sting of another celeb (like Lindsey) who was drunk driving, gotten HER arrested, and then gloated about that just as much on radio/TV/online the next day.

So isn't it all the same thing? Good, bad, drunk, sober? She'll still be in the spotlight, and I'm sick of writing about it.

Oh, but a quick note about the Prosecco:

It's officially called RICH PROSECCO, and it's sold in a can a la Red Bull, for the clubbing set. They've done parties at glamorous ski (Austrian Alps) and beach (Spain's party town Mallorca) resorts, featuring you-know-who.

The can's gaudy gold, and one ad features a gold bikini-clad model with a can clipped to her belt, replete with gold chain hanging down. Before this summer, when I did a cameo in St. Tropez for a night of, well, debauchery, I would never have understood this kind of marketing. But, now that I've experienced the unabashed Ferrari-driving, jewelry-dripping, Champagne-shooting excess that is St. Trop, I kind of get it. I can see where they're going with it, at least.

Caveat: their marketing jargon reads like a bad romance novel. Case in point (from the Rich Prosecco home page):

"The new sensational sparkling beverage is here
From a new series of sparkling and exciting drinks
Serve it cold. It tastes sinfully good!
Cool in your hand! And sensational on your tongue!

Luxury and the highest quality in a can
... bubbles on your tongue!"

What's up with all the tongue references? Screams of a translation. A native English speaker would never say that - know what I mean? They go on:

"Drinking Prosecco from a can is delicious; as you sip, the pearling sensation of the cool, fresh-tasting Prosecco ripples over the lip of the can to dance on your tongue."

Again, the tongue thing. And the "pearling sensation" - is this a porn video or a beverage ad? I'm confused.

Then again, there's Paris, so maybe it's not so odd. Enough said.

I'm hungry and I've been drinking, so I better learn from Ms. P and avoid getting behind the wheel at this late hour. Looks like it's Thai take-out from lunch again. At least my vocabulary's still intact.

www.richprosecco.com

Posted by Courtney on October 2, 2006 09:31 PM

Comments

She's very good at screwing up but making sure she's advertising. She's like a NASCAR driver when she gets interviewed, ie "I just love my new D&G bag that I brought here to the hottest new club on the West Coast, Shine."

I'm surprised she didn't pimp Rich Prosecco when she got pulled over and held up the can for her mug shot.

Posted by: Rick on October 3, 2006 10:39 AM
......................................................

Seriously! No matter what she's doing you can't help but like her (at least a little). I ran into Paris in the potty at Koi last year in LA and she totally smiled at me. This, like, knowing smile, like we were both in on some secret together. That secret, I think, is that she just doesn't give a *(!&!!

Posted by: Courtney on October 3, 2006 11:14 AM
......................................................